Tomorrow marks day seven of members of the Class of 2012 making up the majority of 954 Upper Gulph Road. And in those seven days, two athletes have dominated the topics of conversation more than almost any others (sans Dirk). The two athletes are not stars in any right, but have quickly carved out a special place in the hearts of the Gulphers: former Texas WR (and current Steeler) Limas Sweed and Orlando Magic PG (and former member of an unspeakable Big 5 school) Jameer Nelson. But compared head-to-head, which beloved member of the UGS community comes out on top?
Athletic Success: Sweed had a solid college career, winning two Rose Bowls, and hauling in a career-high 12 touchdowns during his junior season. But since that season, he hasn’t done much of anything besides ride coattails to a Super Bowl, all culminating with Achilles surgery last May. He’s on IR. Nelson, along with Delonte ‘hide yo mama’ West, led an overachieving St. Joe’s team to the Elite 8, and was a key piece of the Magic team that made to the NBA Finals in 2009. Nelson is definitely overrated as an NBA player though, mostly because there’s no one on that Magic team left that hasn’t . He also shot a god-awful 38% in the playoffs this season. Count the All-Star selection in Jameer’s favor. EDGE: Nelson
Tail: Who scored more off the field? Nelson was the biggest of big men on campus at tiny St. Joe’s campusand probably scored more outside Alumni Memorial Fieldhouse than inside of it. That being said, Main Line girls are cute, but Sweed went to Texas. Gem of the Lone Star State Texas. Hottest girls in the country Texas. But what about competition? Nelson had to compete with Delonte and the rest of the team, but Sweed had the entire Texas football team, including golden boy Colt McCoy. Hotness ratio-wise, the numbers seemingly swing in Sweed’s favor. Think Nelson: Big fish: small pond, Sweed: Slightly smaller fish: huge pond. EDGE: Sweed
Main Line Sightings: This is a lock for Nelson. Sweed has been a no-show on the Main Line this summer, while Jameer has spotted twice. Sweeney saw him with his two kids at Hope’s Cookies, answering the oft-asked question: where do Philly-area NBA players get their baked goods? The second Nel-sighting was at YangMing last night. Looking like he belonged on the forthcoming ‘All-Swag’ time, Nelson walked into the prime formal spot like he owned the place. I only imagine he ordered some EDGE: Nelson
Namesake: A pool was purchased at this house on Saturday, and an inflatable turtle left behind from the previous residents made its way into the soothing waters. Somehow it was decided that the turtle’s name should be Limas Sweed, a mystery that will forever live in Gulph lore. No word on the health of the turtle’s Achilles. (Do turtles have Achilles?) But the pool is draining, leaving Nelson as the clear beneficiary. In classic college fashion, the house beer bong has been lovingly dubbed ‘JaBeer NelsBong’, narrowly beating such winning names like Bong-as JereBeerko and J.J. Beer-ea Bong. EDGE: Nelson
So Jameer’s Main Line ties, affinity for cookies, and ability to funnel beer at high speeds push him ahead of Limas. Also, Limas is too close to Lima beans and nobody likes them or the Steelers. Perhaps if Sweed can make it down to our fantasy draft in August or send us a turtle-sized jersey he can get bumped ahead, but right now the Hawk survives for a couple more weeks.